Saturday, May 28, 2005

Friday Spies

So, I've seen this all over the web, but I don't know if you're supposed to be asked to do it, or if you can just hop on the bandwagon. They look kind of fun and, hey, it's Saturday morning so I might as well occupy myself with interesting questions. And gosh, I'd do anything to fit in with the rest of the blawgosphere. So, from BTQ:

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?

Well, it's tough not to say that this Jefferson Memorial and this WWII Memorial aren't pretty cool. However, the only time I ever see the capital attractions are when I have visitors in town. Practically, I'd say the best thing about living in D.C. is the metro system, because it's super convinenent, clean, and cheap (relative to my car, which cost me upwards of $7000 a year before I sold it). And I don't mind walking around town a bit when there's not a stop right next to where I want to be.

The worst thing about the city was having to go to law school here. When you're living on loans, a night out filled with $10 dirty martinis can easily soak up half your semester allotment. And while the metro may be convenient, the people who ride it drive me f-ing crazy. Listen: Stand on the right, walk on the left; wait until people exit the train before your push your rude-ass onto it; and for the love of god, don't put the same hand on the pole that you just used to wipe the snot off your ugly kid. Thanks. Also, this guy says it pretty well.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality.

In third grade, Scott's wife, Jessica, and I built an automatic dogfeeder that totally should have won first place at our invention fair. We sewed a zipper on the top of a big bag of dogfood and hung it upside down in a wooden frame. We attached a string to the zipper and tied it to the winder of an old-school clock and set the alarm. When the alarm went off, the string wound around the twirling winder and opened the bag. The food fell into the bottom of a tilted cardboard box, which had a hole with paper towel tubes attached that led to the bowl on the ground. Fucking brilliant right? Of course it only worked one time, since all the food in the bag spilled out. I still have the dog we hired for the day; here she is modeling again for you: Birtha

3. Name an overrated author, musician, and movie. Name an underrated author, musician, and movie.

Overrated author: Ernest Hemingway. After forcing myself through The Old Man and the Sea, I suddenly understood why he killed himself. Also, J.K. Rowling. I think it's great she's inspired millions of kids to read, seriously, it's the 40 year old man reading Harry Potter during his commute that boggles the mind. At least take the dust jacket off and stop embarrassing yourself.

Overrated musician: Anyone appearing on American Idol. Also, Radiohead. I know a lot of people who would slap me for saying that, but I've tried to listen to their albums, and I just don't get it. It all sounds the same to me.

Overrated movie: Star Wars. I just saw Episode Three and it was really difficult not to burst out laughing during the first light saber fight. "Whomp! Whomp! WhompWhomp! Whoooooooooooooomp!" Don't forget the scene changes. There's the "windshield wiper," the "vertical blinds," the "shrinking circle," etc. It really blows any element of seriousness right out the window. And after this exchange, I really think George Lucas should go into the romantic comedy business: Anakin, "You're beautiful." Padme, "It's only because I'm so in love with you." Anakin, "No, it's because I'm so in love with you." Ha ha. You're only hot cause love is blind, sweetheart.

Underrated author: Carl Sagan. Cosmos is a must read for anybody. He can pull together every branch of physical science, philsophy, and social science in an interesting and readable way for any layman. Also, his book Contact is a thousand times more interesting than the movie.

Underrated musician: Hmm, there are tons. Elliott Smith maybe. I don't know, most of the musicians I like who aren't ultra-popular, I prefer to stay that way because there's nothing worse than finding out a band you like suddenly became the favorite band of some snobby high school kid on the O.C.

Underrated movie: Contact. I know, I really like Carl Sagan. I'm sure there are others, but I'm running out of coffee.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show.

That's funny, because I think my life is a sitcom slated to air in the fall. It's going to be called, "Welcome to the Welfare Rolls," and I'll be cast by a young blonde who will play an overly-educated, severely-indebted, under-employed 20-something in the big city who's now got to make it using only her charm and wiles. Maybe a Reese Witherspoon type. Her wacky escapades will include running from student loan collectors and working odd jobs like bike messenger and window-washer.

5. When is the fun supposed to start?

I hope I'm not supposed to quote something from this movie. I've actually never seen it. I know, it's like a sin or something.


At 4:41 PM, May 28, 2005, Blogger Roonie said...

You make a good point about going to law school in DC, being expensive and all. But DC and I have a very loving relationship; I could live there if it weren't for gorgeous California pulling on my sleeve saying, "Come back to me!"

At 5:11 PM, May 28, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

Yeah, California kind of does that to me, too. Since my life is so up in the air right now, with no job, I figured I might as well stick around DC with my friends and roommate another year. If it doesn't work out, I'll be making that cross-country trek to the sunny side.

At 11:04 PM, May 28, 2005, Blogger Chai said...

you are making me miss DC so much right now! But, alas, i'm in killa cali. though it was a hard adjustment to the east, i'm happy that i finally came to terms w/DC. it's been a good city (minus the ridi rent...wait, there is rent control, you could have fooled me!).

love the metro. got sick of the LA traffic/car insurance payments.

hate the tourists. but it's not like you'll be seeing much of them this summer. that's one positive thing of studying for the bar, eh?

At 10:16 PM, May 30, 2005, Anonymous kristine said...

i LOVE Contact. It's one of those movies I can watch over and over and over. my husband thinks that's sad; I think he's missing out.


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