Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Take a picture, already.

This is to the girl who sits across the aisle from me in bar/bri:

You have a staring problem. Do you see the giant video screen we are watching? It's in the other direction from where I'm sitting, which means you have to turn around in your chair to stare - stare - at me and my neighbors.

Do you have any idea how distracting that is? And everytime I catch you staring at me, you keep staring, as if you caught me staring. You have a problem. I might even go so far as to say a "social disorder."

No, the video isn't action-packed, so occasionally I zone out on the back of someone's head, but they don't know that. I don't, alternatively, turn to the girl next to me and stare at her until she starts to creep away.

Instead of becoming a lawyer, you should mark out your own niche on a New York subway car. Get yourself a beige hole-y sweater and frizz out your hair. Then when people get on the train you can take the seat next to them and stare until they freak out and give you some quarters just to make you go away. You could be a millionaire.

Stop doing it. Or I will embarrass you in front of everyone by telling you in class tomorrow. I'm serious.

Love,
The blonde in the sixth row.

9 Comments:

At 10:21 PM, June 21, 2005, Blogger Snubligent said...

When I was studying abroad, this flamingly gay Kuwaiti guy stared at me in every single class. It was the creepiest thing in the world. When I caught him doing it, he would wink at me and smile. I don't even think he knew he was gay. I felt bad for him, because he obviously came from a repressive culture that would never let him be who he was meant to be. I felt like I should've sat him down and explained to him that "boys who like girls" typically don't wear white jeans with bandanas around their necks or cover their rooms in Madonna and Mariah Carey posters (he actually gave a speech about his madonna/carey poster collection. Then maybe helped him defect to the Netherlands or something.

Maybe your starer just likes you?

 
At 10:26 PM, June 21, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

Possibly, but 1) she's married and 2) she stares at the two people right in front and behind me, too. I think she's just weird.

Where were you studying abroad? I'm surprised that no one told him that white jeans and bandanas are unacceptable, straight or gay. :)

 
At 11:03 PM, June 21, 2005, Blogger Snubligent said...

I was in Grenoble. Actually, shitty fashion sense isn't at all out of place in France. Everyone thinks they're a bunch of snobbish designer clothes wearing fashionistas. This only describes the women. Men there are total slobs. Nothing is more enraging than seeing a totally smoking french woman dressed to the nines with an unshaven douche in blue-jeans and sneakers hanging all over her (cigarette dangling out of unwashed face of course).

 
At 12:57 AM, June 22, 2005, Blogger jm said...

Reading this post seriously made my day. Not that I'm happy you've got a freak show to deal with. I'm just living vicariously through the social skills of people who actually leave the house.

 
At 1:49 AM, June 22, 2005, Blogger Roonie said...

I love Arabs.

Heather, you should probably just move your seat. That is f-ing creeeeeepy.

 
At 5:12 PM, June 22, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

Okay - if you're wondering, I totally approached her about it today. I gave her once last chance, and after class - after i caught her staring three times in the last hour - I went over.

But I was nice about it, I said something like, "I'm sure you don't even realize you're doing it but...." She was flustered and said she didn't realize, and apologized, and the conversation quickly devolved into complete awkwardness. Anyway, it was totally distracting, so I'm glad I did it, even if I may have looked like an asshole.

 
At 7:28 PM, June 22, 2005, Blogger stag said...

Ha ha. Good for you. I hate when people just blog about what they can't stand, but don't do anything about it. Now she'll never look at you again. Problem solved.

 
At 7:46 PM, June 22, 2005, Anonymous shell said...

Good for you Heather! I was going to say she was probably just blanking out (cuz I know ppl who does that, and ppl think they're staring or not paying attention). Anyways, you never know. Obviously in this case it disturbed your studying, so you needed to take care of the matter (hey, you paid for the class, so why should you miss out cuz of that ONE person?)

 
At 8:51 PM, June 22, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

shell: to make myself look less asshole-ish, i'd like to reiterate that it's not like we were on the metro, where everyone zones out and ends up staring at each other, she has to physically turn around to stare at me. which is weird. i can understand the occasional glancing behind you out of boredom, but a line must be drawn.

 

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