Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Wanna see my Hummer?

I'm on hold with Apple Support again because my box has still not arrived, and there's still a typo on the "repair status" page that says they're repairing my last problem. Meanwhile, they're testing the fire alarms in the building over, and over, and over. They were supposed to start this at 9am, so I wonder if they've been blaring them for the past hour and a half straight.

I saw two Hummers on the way to the gym this morning and it made me think of this little anecdote. Last year I used to study at Starbucks all the time, because I got sick of the lib and couldn't concentrate at home. If you don't hang out a lot at the 'bucks, you might not have realized that they've turned into single's bars. At least once a week I'd get hit on by some strange guy, and it's not like I'm some hot babe, but maybe I encouraged them being a 'women alone at a table.' You know how we do that.

So one day I walk in the shop and set my non-stealable stuff down at a table. The table next to mine happened to be empty. I spent a few minutes waiting in line and ordering coffee, then came back to my table, where now a guy my age, of the wanna-be hip-hop entourage variety, is sitting at the table next to me. He immediately leans over (before I had the chance to put my iPod on!) and says in this player voice, "I saw you walk in and waited here because I just had to talk to you." So, right away: creepy. I kinda raise my eyebrows and say, "oh...yeah?" Then he starts asking me what I'm reading, even though it's pretty obvious he doesn't even know what "Antitrust" means, much less gives a damn why I'm reading it. Finally he gets to the punchline, "So, you think I can get your number?" Just to get rid of him I say, "Um, sure," and write down a fake number for him. As he gets up to leave he kind of moves behind me and puts his arm around my chair and points out the window, down the street, "See that black Hummer over there?" (gives a wink and a nod) "That's mine." If I was thinking more clearly, I would have said, "Oh, really?" and yanked back the (fake) number, except I have the feeling he probably wouldn't have taken that very well.

There was another guy seated at the table in front of me who heard the entire conversation, and as soon as player-man left, normal guy turns to me and busts out laughing, as did I. He mocks, "Wanna see my Hummer?" Oh man. Good times.

Okay, I finally got ahold of apple guy, who then put me on hold for another 20 minutes waiting for dispatch guy, who told me the box had not even been shipped and he wasn't sure why, but he'd send it out right away. Sure they will. I felt a little bad cause it wasn't this guys fault I've had so many problems, but I started getting really irritated with him. They need to have on their button choices, "Person who will listen to you lose your shit when you finally get fed up with our punk-ass service."

P.S. The fire alarms are still blaring.


At 11:26 AM, June 01, 2005, Blogger stag said...

Heh. I've done the fake number thing, but I tend to do that after I've been drinking. Otherwise it's just "No, I'm not interested. Go away."

At 11:45 AM, June 01, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

Funny, I'm just the opposite. When I'm sober I'm usually placating unless they're actually rude or threatening, but when I'm drunk I have no problem shutting them down. I've been known to shove guys who try to 'surprise' grind me from behind on the dance floor.

At 1:10 PM, June 01, 2005, Blogger Chai said...

i have a fake name....its fun. especially when your friend is with you and s/he calls you by your real name, confusing the dude. real fun.


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