Sunday, July 10, 2005

Wankers, all of them.

I almost forgot why I stopped watching CNN. Then I turned it on for a few minutes and remembered:

Wolf Blitzer makes me want to stick sharp objects in my ears.

Also, I don't know who the fuck Chad Myers is, but he's one of the biggest wankers I've seen in awhile. I think he's just trying to show up Anderson Cooper and his hurricane adventures.

Chad: "I can taste the wind coming off the ocean. I know, I know! People ask me! How can you taste the wind?! It's because the wind is blowing the water in from the ocean! And it's the salt I can taste!"
Anchor woman: "Hey Chad, I'm not your mother, but you're making me nervous walking into the surf like that. Come on back, why don't you."
Chad: "I know, I know! They tell you, right? They tell you never turn your back on the camera. But out there, never turn your back on Mother Nature! Okay okay, I'm coming back."

Christ man, I need those brain cells for the bar.

Wolf just said: "I want to stress to our viewers out there that even though the worst is over in some places, [dramatic pause] the worst is still yet to come in others."

That reminds me of the hands-down funniest one-liner I ever heard on SNL. During the Weekend Update, Norm McDonald said, "And in other news, most people are still in the majority, while still fewer are in the minority."


At 11:29 PM, July 10, 2005, Anonymous shell said...

Join the bandwagon, Heather.

I stopped watching TV news since 1996, before a breaking news coverage about a watermelon truck that flipped over and after the special interest interview with the dog who saved a boy's life.

At 10:00 AM, July 11, 2005, Anonymous rebecca said...

oh norm...


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