Monday, September 19, 2005

So I knew the apocalypse had come and gone when...

I looked down the table of fourteen from my place at the head and realized...

'I'm the only straight person here.'

This is exactly what I was trying to avoid when I moved in with C. Gays tend to be magnets for each other; it's not like straights, where you've really got to bend over backwards conversationally or be forced into some situation (co-workers, etc.) to make a new straight friend. But you hang out with one gay, and you hang out with them all. At the same time.

This weekend my friend T who just moved to NYC but hasn't yet started his firm job, decided to come down and visit. We still have things to fix around the house and C's still recovering from his surgery, but we said okay. Then he decided to bring his friend, the Hypersexed Lesbian. T met a boy the week before he left DC, so he met up with him immediately, and HL hooked up with some chick within two hours of arriving. So that's five gays. We can't forget C's boyfriend, my second roommate. Then C's boyfriend and T's boy had friends join us out, so we're at six, seven...uh...nine.

Then, and this was just weird, C got a call on Friday from an old friend (read: hookup) who was in town on business and said, "Hey, I'm in town and I just checked out of my hotel, can I stay at your place?" C, a bit taken aback said, "um...okay?" Course, when the friend got here he didn't expect C's boyfriend, nor his new roommate for that matter. So, we've topped out at ten right there. There must have been more, since I distinctly remember the "table for 14" being requested, but I guess I started blocking them out. The gays! One of them insisted I looked like Fiona Apple, so he called me Fiona the rest of the night. I told him he could call me Ms. Apple.

It was actually an okay weekend, though I got stuck with the cock-blocked random friend, who was nice enough. He kept telling me about his bi-sexuality. At first I'm not surprised. Most bi's are pretty proud of themselves. But he kept bringing it up and finally I thought, 'Whoa, is he, um...hitting on me?' Like wink, I do broads, too. But there were no other moves made, so I let it go.

And that's probably good, because I'm not really into doubling up on my roommates conquests. Plus, I wouldn't have been able to give blood anymore! Which I tried to do today, and was turned away for my low metal count. I need more spinach and less coffee I guess.

Enough about that. We did some more work on the backyard but I forgot to take a picture. I'll try to take one and post it later this week. I mean, for the two of you who still read my blog. I'm out.

8 Comments:

At 12:40 AM, September 20, 2005, Blogger Snubligent said...

Hey... I'm still reading! You're a good writer. I like your blog.

 
At 12:48 AM, September 20, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 12:58 AM, September 20, 2005, Anonymous jake said...

I'm still reading, and I'm not even trying to get you to check out my vinyl log siding!

VINYL LOGS?! WTF?

 
At 12:01 PM, September 21, 2005, Blogger Chai said...

ahh "the gays." love it. its true though and i agree with you whole heartedly.

i still read your blog even if it has nothing to do with vinyl log siding. i hope one day your blog does incorporate that subject matter.

 
At 12:01 PM, September 21, 2005, Blogger Chai said...

ahh "the gays." love it. its true though and i agree with you whole heartedly.

i still read your blog even if it has nothing to do with vinyl log siding. i hope one day your blog does incorporate that subject matter.

 
At 12:44 PM, September 26, 2005, Blogger susanna18aaliyah said...

Just passing by your blog and though you'd like this website.

 
At 4:12 PM, September 27, 2005, Blogger G. said...

One of my funniest New Year's memories is a party at my friend Clint's house. He is the stereotypical "urban" gay guy, former model, lives at the gym, wears only designer clothes, etc. Well my husband and I went to the party and we realized that not only were we the only straight couple there, but that we looked like TROLLS because every single other man was this perfectly-coiffed, muscular adonis in a tight t-shirt and jeans. It was so sad. The party was fun though!!

I'd tell you more but I've absolutely got to go check out that vinyl log siding.

 
At 2:53 PM, October 03, 2005, Blogger Roonie said...

I came here for witty commentary by Heather, but now I'm leaving for the vinyl log siding.

 

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