Friday, November 04, 2005

I'm back!

Not that I went anywhere, I've just been lazy at posting. My job sucks big fat balls, but I can't really blog about it. Except today we got accused of stealing somebody's wallet. Give me a fat fucking break. I've never been treated so disrespectfully, overall, at any other job I've ever had, including the waitressing job where once when we got slammed a customer called me a moron who was too stupid to even wait tables correctly, and then proceeded to call me a bitch to my boss (who then threw them out on their asses, almost literally). Yes, it's worse than that job.

So the bad news is that two of my friends just failed the Maryland bar. I'm just sick for them. It was such a fucked up day at work, because our bosses are terrible human beings and fucked with their minds all day, then threatened to fire anyone who left early. ....Scratch that, a third just called me. AHH! These are not stupid people! Another good friend of mine took both the Maryland and Mass bars, and she has yet to contact me. I talked to her Thursday and wished her luck, and told her I wouldn't ask her about it, so that she could contact me whenever she was ready, but I really think that if she had passed one of them, she would have called. I hope I'm wrong.

Okay, let's have a funny story, shall we? My co-workers and I all went out to happy hour, as we do, last Wednesday. One of my co-workers brought her roommate, who I'd met a few weeks before at my party. She looks like your average, fairly innocent girl. I was talking with her and somehow she starts talking about how these two guys at my party were making out hardcore. There were a lot of gays at my party (of course!), but I knew exactly who she was talking about, because my friend T was wasted and not only making out with his boyfriend, but grabbing my female friend's boobs and slapping my ass and such. So I laughed and said to this girl, "ha, sorry about that, there's nothing weirder than watching your friends make out." And she says, "Oh no, I thought it was hot! I wanted to get in the middle!" Ha! And also, ew. (And not like "gay, eh" but "those are my friends, ew")

So I didn't realize she was all freaky, but then I hear THIS story. A little later she was talking to another one of my co-workers, who happens to be pretty hot and gets hit on quite frequently, but I think this takes the cake. He had ordered some bar food, which came with some carrot sticks. She says, "Can you pass me a carrot stick?" He says, "Oh sure," and picks up the plate for her. She grins and leers and says, "No, not that carrot stick. Your carrot stick." He is both appalled and cracking up and yells, "What??" THEN, it gets better. She takes the carrot and dips it suggestively in the hummus, then licks it slowly off the carrot, then puts the carrot in her mouth and starts pulling it back and forth! Who is this girl!! My co-workers were fucking dying. He was really embarassed, but even more so when she asked him to dance on the table and then said, "Oh wait, I need to go to the ATM first." What a freak. And yet, hysterical.

2 Comments:

At 6:33 PM, November 05, 2005, Blogger G. said...

It was such a fucked up day at work, because our bosses are terrible human beings and fucked with their minds all day, then threatened to fire anyone who left early. ....Scratch that, a third just called me.

Is that a fucking joke? They weren't allowed to go home and get their Bar results in private? Tell me that's not true. And you're talking about 5PM ON A FUCKING FRIDAY, not like 11:00 wednesday morning, so there's no justifiable reason to insist they be in the office except to be sadistic. I don't know anything about the Maryland Professional Responsibility rules but that seems like it should be some sort of a violation. And the punishment should be, you get your eyes poked out with a pencil. What a jerk.

 
At 5:34 PM, November 06, 2005, Blogger Roonie said...

I want to vomit. I really do. I don't want to know my results. I get nauseous thinking of everyone else getting them.

 

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