Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Rip in Time Saves Thine...Marriages. Or, a review of SciFi's "The Triangle."

If you've got the three-part mini-series "The Triangle" sitting on your TiVo still or you're holding out for the dvd release, you'll want to skip this post. Oh...nobody? That means you all saw it right? ...You didn't? Alright, well I'm going to discuss it anyway, because there's nothing we here at TTtC like better than disaster movies. Giddy-up.

The first time I saw a commercial for this mini-series "event," I thought nothing of it; I don't usually like made-for-tv disaster movies unless they're awesomely bad, and this didn't look like one of those, so six hours sounded like a lot to devote. The second time I saw the commercial, I realized it was produced by Bryan Singer. I set the TiVo.

Okay, I kind of lied. I'm not really going to review it, because I just wrote like 1000 words on the movie and realized I was going to end up writing a thesis instead of a movie review. The one detail I'll give you is this:

At the end of the movie, when the tear in the fabric of time (created by the Navy. The Navy!) sealed itself - so that the Bermuda Triangle was never created in the first place - our five protagonists reawaken in the new reality created (since all of the people taken by the Triangle were never taken).

Protag #1: Divorced, obsessed-with-the-triangle-reporter - Wakes up next to his wife and gets another chance to make it right.
Protag #2: Death-defying, thrill-loving, boobie-peeping, no-one-can-hold-me-down Aussie - Wakes up with a wife, three kids, and a bum leg.
Protag #3: Uber-intellectual, I'm-too-smart-to-be-married woman - Wakes up to a brand-new boyfriend calling her cell phone.
Protag #4: Greenpeace activist going crazy from traumatic events in the Triangle who eventually pushed his family away - Wakes up with his wife and son and another new son.

Four out of five marriages (or relationships) saved by Space-Time. The administration would be proud.


At 3:56 PM, December 14, 2005, Blogger cg-c said...

So that's the key to a long-lasting marriage...I knew it!

At 6:58 PM, December 14, 2005, Anonymous Quinn said...

I'm one of the few who watched it real time and I can honestly admit your post was better. Much, much better.

At 8:57 PM, December 14, 2005, Blogger Heather said...

Did you hate it? I have to say, it wasn't that bad for a made-for-tv.

My biggest complaint (aside from the fact all five of them, and no one else, somehow remembered the world before the rip sealed, because...they were near the event? wha? no, sorry.) was the behavior of the so-called "scientists."

I think there is a special place in cinema hell for movies that have hard-core scientists who, when presented with a fairly valid explanation for some phenomena (say, a tear in space-time?) cry, "No that's impossible! That's never been proven!" Give me an effing break. They're scientists for christ's sake. Unless they're scientific historians, then I say, cut the crap please. Scientists live to be presented with evidence for new theories.


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