Saturday, May 14, 2005

Most recent Google searches that brought up my blog:

"federal courts outline"
"moldy twinkies"

To the person who was searching for a federal courts outline, you must have been really desparate to click on my site. But you should have asked, I would have given you my kick-ass outline. I mean, sure, it was missing that removal statute that we only covered one day with a handout, a handout I miraculously had with me since it was the basis for an entire question of the exam. Sigh. And, um, it didn't have enough information on 28 USC 1983, so I did a little 'learning during the exam' with Chemerinsky. Alright, my outline kind of sucked, but it was totally in "Garamond" font, which is quite pretty.

And "moldy twinkies"? I feel like a proud mother.

Daryl Hammond is playing a cruel corporate boss in the rerun of L&O that's on right now. I'm having trouble buying it. This one is Criminal Intent, which my mother is partial to because she loves Vincent D'Onofrio's character and his tricky mindgames. But, "exhaustion"? Please. Vince, you and Mariah Carey and Dave Chappelle are at the top of my prayers. No, really, you poor - I mean loaded - famous people just having to work so hard. It makes you want to lose faith in puppies and chubby babies. Or something. Anyway, I'm more of a Jack McCoy/Lenny Briscoe fan myself. "Your Honor, this is an outrage!" "Sit down, Mr. McCoy!"

I had trouble watching SVU at first with all the rapes and incest and other gross sexual plotlines that make me never want to meet the writers, but since there are a few hours everyday when TNT plays some crap like Charmed instead of The Original, I eventually got used to Mariska and Co. on the USA network to get my fix, though the blonde DA still annoys the crap out of me. Of course they don't focus on the courtroom in any of the spin-offs, which is probably why I don't like them as much. Except Trial by Jury, but who wants to watch Lilith bring the hammer down?

Lawyer ADD

My generation was supposed to get attention deficit disorder from television and video games. I had a killer attention span when I was a kid. I used to sit in my grandparents living room and read an entire novel from start to finish. When I did play video games, it was usually Tetris, which also involved concentrating on puzzle solving for however long it took me to finally read the top. (Yes, I was (am) a hardcore introvert...but my cannon arm in softball made up for it a little.)

So what finally ruined me? Law school. First year I was pretty good; I almost never watched tv and during finals I could sit in the library for hours and hours on end without moving. A big bladder helped with that. After I realized that law classes are actually pretty boring and studying isn't that important, I got addicted to Law and Order reruns and blogs and daydreaming and quadruple-tasking and now I can't even sit in my papazan and watch an hour-long drama with a beer without getting desprately bored.

Since it's a day of the week that ends in Y, there's a L&O marathon on. I haven't really had a chance to let it sink in that school is over, so I decided to stay in and relax tonight. I'm going to enjoy every boring moment of it, but it's become very clear to me that I need some of those pills they give away for free on television just to get you hooked.

"They're giving them away for free?! They must be good!" If that isn't my motto for life, I don't know what is.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Disaster Tuesday

Tidal Wave: No Escape!

8pm Tuesday, USA Network. Stay tuned!

Friday cat cookie blogging

I just got back from my semi-annual trader joe's trip and am now scarfing down cat cookies. These things are evil. By the way, you don't really know me until you know that i LOVE trader joe's. I think they are the best thing since sliced bread. When I worked pre-law school I used to bring TJ's food for lunch most of the time and my friends would always say, "That looks good, what is it?" and I would inevitably launch into a detailed desciption of the food and how good it was and what aisle they could find it in. I made a lot of converts. What's great is that they have THE best frozen food section in the world, so I can stock up and spend like $100, then just go the the local grocery for perishables for the next few months. It's also way cheaper.

So, today was my rental car errand day. Am I the only one who's never heard of a Chevrolet 'Classic'? That's a car? Who knew? It's probably the most non-descript four-door compact anyone has ever dreamt up. Among my errands was my hair appointment, and you'll be happy to know I have a new hot asian nyc-import punk for a hairdresser. I've been going to the same place for over a year now. I went in randomly one day - because if you know anything about the hair experiences I've had in D.C., you know any 'random' place couldn't possibly bring a worse experience than I've already had. I had this great chick named Hannah, but I swear, every single time I go back she's on vacation. I eventually thought she quit and they didn't want her clients to follow her. So I always have someone new at this place and they're all great, so I don't mind, though I still ask for Hannah out of habit. Today I had Brian, and he's awesome. Granted, I could only understand every third word he said through a really thick Korean accent, but what I did hear usually involved teenagers going to prom and asking him to use pink hair color she just purchased at Hot Topic, where the sales person told her it was "great," but actually turned her hair orange. Ha. Anyway, he did a fantastic job, plus, did I mention he's hot? I hope he doesn't go on "vacation" soon.

My ex-roommate Mindy was here visiting the past day and a half. We had a great time, but I'll probably blog about it later tonight.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I got that out of my system.

Sort of. That was the best f-ing amazing race ever.

Anyhow, I just remembered that I used "mere puffery" AGAIN in my exam today! Ha! Of course, while I was going through my notes yesterday, I found out that it was my Sales prof who said it in the first place, so it was appropriate this time at least.

I also discovered that the rest of the Sales class has received their grades already. Wha? Remember, this is the exam I deferred because of my (now postponed) court date last week. Everyone else took the exam sometime last week. When I went into the registrar to pick up my test the lady kind of laughed uncomfortably and said, "Oh right. And you're graduating aren't you?" She was similiary wierd about it when I turned the exam in. I asked if I had to sign anything (you usually do for take-homes) and she said, "I'll sign it for you." Oooookay. Maybe she'll sign off on my debt over in the financial aid office while she's at it. When I got home my friends told me the grades were out. So, now it's all coming together. He went back to the fucking homeland this week and now they're going to have to fax my exam over or something, ha. Maybe he'll give me an A just to get rid of it and get back to his Norweigian tanning.


That is all.

Post-law school running

Since my iPod crashes during runs, I've had to get used running without the beats and it turns out I kind of enjoy it. I actually had a lot of thoughts I was going to blog, but now I'm just hot and sweaty and trying to turn from tomato red back to my normal Whitey McWhiterson. It's supposed to thunderstorm later so it's humid as hell.

Oh, that was one thing. Anyone who thinks people are exaggerrating when a west coaster says "dry heat is so much better than humid heat," the east-coaster who responds and says, "you're crazy, dry heat is just as bad," is actually the crazy one. I grew up playing softball tournaments in polyester uniforms in 105 degree heat on Thanksgiving weekend in Rancho Cucamonga and it's so much fucking better then taking a run on the east coast and thinking I suddenly developed asthma. Chalk up another one for the pacific coast.

So yeah, I finished law school today. As I was walking out of the school, after three years, I thought, "Alright, maybe it wasn't that.....haha, who am I kidding, that was the worst three years of my life!" Ha...god. The best part was taking the last shuttle ride ever. I could live my entire life without sitting in another shuttle, going deaf because the lack of shocks and the drivers who speed 100mph down Nebraska make the entire carriage slam down on the axles over and over. Fuck.

But, word on the street was that the Sales exam was a breeze, and it lived up to expectations. Wonderfully straightforward - but so much that you know every single person got all the issues. And I doubt I said anything so profoundly insightful to sweep myself out of the middle of the curve. Oh well, it was stress-free, my laptop didn't crash in the middle of it, and I turned it in after 4 (out of 7) hours only because I worked at an extremely leisurely pace.

My ex-roommate from Ohio is coming down to visit today. Which I'm excited about, but it also means I can't wait until tomorrow to clean up this shithole that has become my apartment over the past few weeks. I took some pictures, but I don't feel like posting them now. I'm off to clean.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

TAR Anxiety.

At this exact moment someone is winning the amazing race and I am not watching!!

I'm dying here! I was going to watch the tape after my final tomorrow, but fuck it. I'm totally rewinding that bitch right now.

Update: As I just mentioned in the comments - I'm going to bed. I'll just have to reward the end of three years of hell with two hours of adventure I wish *I* was on. And, some hard liquor. Quinn and I decided to apply for the next season until we realized they're doing a "family edition," and honestly, I don't think I even want to watch that horror, much less spend 30 days with my army sister, fighting over who's going to milk the goat.

From my Sales notes:

"They are on a dude ranch."

Well, that should be a live-saver tomorrow.

Coffee and Salad

After my Sales exam tomorrow, I will be totally done with law school forever. Forever. Assuming I didn't just bomb one of those exams, but let's hope for the best. I just threw my sleep pattern way off, since I took a late nap yesterday. Of course, I couldn't go back to sleep at a decent hour, nevertheless, I woke up suddenly at 7am. Wtf? I stayed in bed til around 9:30, staring at the ceiling and listening to the radio, refusing to get up and study for sales. I figured, at that hour, I needed coffee, and this:
Maxwell Crap
is the worst coffee ever. I've had coffee from gas stations that tasted better. I know, it's cheap coffee, but last time I tried the Maxwell House "French Roast," it wasn't half bad. This stuff tastes like reheated coffee that has been sitting in a metal pot for 72 hours. And for some reason, the grounds are leaking through the filter, so I have to lay 2-3 of them in there to catch the floaters.

On the bright side, I've created a salad to end all salads. Something you have to know about me is that I'm a meat and potatos (potatoes?) girl. It took me a good two -and-a-half decades to convince myself that 1) plain water is a drink and 2) ice cream is not a meal. Okay, I still think ice cream is a meal, but I've cut back. The most difficult thing has been convincing myself that salad is a meal. First, I hate lettuce. I have to watch my Sandwich Artist(tm) at subway or quiznos like a hawk so he doesn't reach for the shredded lettuce, because he always will, even though I told him loudly "NO lettuce please!" Iceberg lettuce is some freak thing with Americans that I will never understand. No where else in the world would people be crazy about a vegetable with absolutely no nutriants and no taste. It's also the number one source of food-poisoning in fast-food restaurants. I mean, besides human fingers. Or so I've heard. When I was in Chile, I'd order a avacado side salad. You know what I'd get? A sliced avacado on a plate! Yum! Actually, it's better if you order the avacado, tomato, and palmito salad, for a little variety and big taste. Anyway, the point is: Lettuce sucks.

Long story short, I've created a salad that's like Budweiser: Great taste, no fillers. Or is that Hebrew National Hot Dogs? The picture doesn't do it justice, but here's what it looks like:
Best damn salad
There's actually quite a bit of spinach in there, but it's hiding under all the yummy vegetables.

The ingrediants:
1 bag spinach
1-2 large tomatos
1 medium pepper (your color choice)
1 cucumber
1 can hearts of palm
1 can kidney beans (rinsed and drained)
1 can garbanzo beans (same)

Mix with one of Ken's vinegrette dressings; this one has balsamic vinegrette on it. It's even better with some deli turkey on top. You've got your iron, protein, anti-oxidents and a lot of other things that I'm sure are good for you. It's also actually filling. It's really the kidney beans that make the salad, I think. Here are three tips:

1) Eat the tomatos and hearts of palm in the same forkful.
2) Do NOT eat the hearts of palm with either of the beans. They don't mix well, I just happen to like them both and I end up eating most of it separately anyway.
3) Keep the spinach separate from the veggies until you're ready to eat it.

It's also a great money-saver, since it makes a HUGE salad with about 6-8 servings, for about $10. So, there you go. Eat at will.

Monday, May 09, 2005


I'm at school waiting for my Fed Courts exam to begin. I suggest you avert your eyes...this is going to get ugly.

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