Eat steak, eat steak, cause we've got more steer.

Eat steak, eat steak, you can have it with a beer!

Okay, don't eat steak, eat this:

I promised myself I'd eat good things today because I felt so sick after my mud pie mojo from coldstone's yesterday. But it's Friday, and if I don't go out then I almost always treat myself for getting through another week by ordering take-out. So tonight I compromised "eat good" and "take-out" and had a frozen Trader Joe's veggie pesto pizza. And since my life revolves around food I'm going to blog about it.

That pizza is: So. Good. Even the crust is delicious because it's like puffy naan covered in pesto. Go to TJ's and buy one right now.

I swear I didn't eat the whole thing.

You know why I like Law & Order? So many of the guest stars went on to become famous people. I was never very good at six-degrees-of-separation, but this show is giving me that freakish ability men have to name every movie/show a person has ever been in. Still, I usually have to stare at them for half an hour until I remember where I've seen them. This rapist on SVU right now played Dozer in the first Matrix. Or his brother, I can't ever remember which one was which. OH! I just realized that the boy in the last episode played Parker on Buffy. I knew I'd seen him somewhere. Does anyone else notice that Mariska Hagartay looks younger now than she did 5 years ago? Botox, anyone? Anyway, I swore I'd get this property flashcards done tonight. Yeah, right.

Tip tip, hooray! And.....no.

I rewarded myself for staying at school and getting my con law turn-in essay done by getting a fantastic pair of pants at the gap sale and some coldstone's on the way home. Now I feel like I'm going to have a coronary. I am, actually, quite amazed that coldstone's has been in the neighborhood for over a year now and this was only my second trip, because I am an ice cream freak.

I think I avoid it because of the horror show of perky, loud employees and hot, sweaty customers with small, hyper infants. The store is always ridiculously packed, so you have to stand there smelling the sickeningly sweet ice cream/butterfinger/cookie dough/caramel sauce/whipped cream and it kind of makes you lose your appetite. Even worse, the workers sing and yell cheers everytime someone leaves a tip or, I don't know, drops a spoon or something. It's irratating and puts unnecessary pressure on the customer to leave a tip, because the guy watches you after he gives you back your change, to see if he has to cheer ("tip tip, horray! tip tip, horray!"). Not to mention it's a bit of a hack job, because the guy gave me 4.24 in change, except he gave me 3 dollar bills and 1.24 in coins, I'm sure because most people just dump their change in the jar while the freakishly happy employees stare at them, just so they feel like assholes if they choose to throw it in their pockets instead.

Sorry, I know they're scooping their little hearts out, but I don't leave tips for people who pass me something over a counter, especially if they're going to pressure me into it. I'm sure they actually get paid federal minimum wage, if not more, unlike real waiters. I prefer, instead, to skulk to the 7-11 in the middle of the night for some chubby hubby, just me and the hobos picking up a beef taquito out of the heat rollers. No singing, no lines, no pressured tipping, hey, not even any English most of the time!

Oh christ, the runaway bride is going to be on dateline. Please people, stop encouraging her.

68% are against foreign aid. 59% think it should be cut.

The day started out badly, by me failing to get up and do anything substantive before class today, again. But, the property lady was a refreshing change from evidence guy on Monday and Tuesday. She sang (and sang pretty well) and had a HUGE fucking rock on her hand that blinded me everytime she'd dance around to N'Sync and Natalie Cole.

I stayed at school today instead of coming straight home, and managed to do my third torts outline and the turn-in essay. Then my friend gave me a flashcard template, which will be a time-saver eventually, but not tonight, since I kind of wasted the evening trying to figure out the best way to play with it. Dude, I even went running when I got home - and I should add, I love that it's light out until almost 10pm these days.

I'm going to call Apple tomorrow to deal with my repair situation, then Direct Loans to find some incompetant ass to tell me the wrong information about my loans. So that should be fun.

Also, does anyone else think this new trend of celebrities doing commercials is strange? Like, everytime I hear David Duchovney talk about how he's "for dogs" I think, man, if you hadn't squandered that celebrity cash you had during the x-files by doing totally moronic movies with your hack of a wife, you might be a regular Movie Star these days. But you're not, you're doing doggie commercials. On the other hand, David, if you really are "into nipping," you know where to find me.

A firefly has somehow wiggled its way into my apartment and is now trapped between the window and the blinds. But...it's trying to get into the apartment at large so it's bashing itself into blinds over and over which is both distrubing and annoying. I hate to kill a harmless firefly, but, c'mon. What if it gets in and starts glowing all over the place? That reminds me, you should rent the Firefly DVD's. I've hooked Quinn, I can hook you, too.

R.I.P.

I just cleaned off my third pen barely two weeks into bar/bri. Granted, they weren't brand new, but I went through pens less often as a waitress.

Number one, Number one!

I just had The. Best. Guac. Ever. I was going to make it this weekend, but I'm glad I waited, because the avacado wasn't quite ready until today. Turns out my artificial lemon juice is a bit, um, old, but it passed the smell/taste test, and really, it's artificial, which means it's made to last years after the past due date, right? Some black beans, cheese, salsa and LOTS of guac and you've got yourself a burrito to rival chipotle! I should have taken a picture...

Number two, Number two! I was almost home on my walk back from class and I happened to glace down at my right arm, which was covered in purplish splotches of all different sizes, from my wrist to my upper arm. I freaked because it looked like a rash, and it's way too early in the bar season to be getting stress hives, don't you think? It came off with a little spit and elbow grease. I must have ran into some bush and managed to get berry juice ALL over my arm, but nothing on my white pants. Weird.

Number three, number three! Am I the only one that finds that incredibly annoying?

Number four, number four! I better get to work.

You people have way too much time on your hands.

I'm sure you've heard the Michael Jackson verdict by now. I can't say that I really care too much either way, except that it was probably a tough call for the jury between "child molester" and "this guy is seriously screwed up in the head, but not quite a criminal."

But let's take a moment to look at the REAL freaks. Click foward to the fans sobbing and cheering and releasing fucking doves after the verdict.

A message for those fans: I hate to get dreary on you in your time of jubilence, but since you seem to have some time on your hands and so much passion for the world (re: the man with the sign, "On behalf of mankind, we're sorry Michael"), maybe you didn't notice that there are real problems in the world.

Update: Michael Jackson will no longer share his bed with young boys. After reading that, did the jury raise their hands and say, 'uh, wait a sec - get back here you freak!'

My eyes hurt.

Well, that was a nice little nightmare I totally expect from a company I just paid nearly three-grand to learn me some law. They started playing the evidence video, but the sound was so low we could barely hear. The bar/bri boys cranked it, but it seemed to be poor recording quality than a poor GW speaker system. The best part was when his voice actually went so low there was no sound and many of us, including me, started to laugh at the absurdity of it, and a few people loudly "SHHHUSH!"ed us. Hahaha. RELAX people. Deep breaths. He was still in his introduction, for christ's sakes.

Since they weren't able to fix the sound, they put on the audio cd. Seriously. We sat in that room staring at the walls for nearly FIVE HOURS. Do you know how hard it is to learn when you can't focus on anything? Brutal!

By the way - I totally got a reply from the OCS people! Unfortunately, he was quite nice in explaining that there were few postings for recent grads because jobs are incredibly scarce and then went on to explain why they were so scarce. hahaha. Boy, do I feel better now! He even said many firms were waiting until late fall because they won't hire until we've passed the bar, which is totally uncool. I get why, but there's no way I can be unemployed until November. Maybe I'll take my illustrious J.D. and go wait some more tables. Ugh.

Welcome to....the INTERNET ZONE!

I just went to my loan consolidation website to get a phone number and clicked on "contact us." A little pop-up warning came up that said "You are about to send information to the Internet zone. Do you want to continue?"

Haha. I wonder if W wrote that.

P.S. I just wrote a letter to OCS at my school, saying more or less the same thing I wrote in the last post, but replaced "suck me" with something a little less crude. Anyone taking over/under bets on how soon they'll respond?

My bet: never.

I need a job.

Lately I've been so wrapped up in this "preparing for the fake world of the Bar" thing that I forget I could very well be homeless in three months. I just looked at my school's career services listing, and it was as useless as ever. 99% of the postings are always for lawyers with 3-5 years of experience, which they helpfully mark as "Alumni" (who am I then?). Why are they so concerned with finding jobs for lawyers who already have jobs? Shouldn't they be more concerned with how it will affect their sacred US News ranking when they come around in 9 months and I tell them I'm still unemployed and AU can suck me? Even the few jobs that are listed are typically 1) in Cambodia or 2) for some type of law practice that would make me prefer to jab a stick in my eye. As to the second point, when does the time come when I have to suck it up and apply for crap jobs I'll hate, just because I need a job?

There are a few other places I've been looking, but most of those sites aren't exclusively for lawyers, and that makes it hard to know if I'm qualified or super over-qualified. Sometimes I wonder if I should just break out the phone book and start mass mailing law firms around town.

Anyway, I'm not totally freaking yet, especially since I'm almost two full days behind the paced schedule, which makes me feel I have more pressing things to worry about.

Obviously, you're an idiot.

Although I just posted this in a comment on Chai's site, I thought it was too perfect a statement of my testtaking abilities not to post here, too.

I was doing some multiple choice questions earlier, and as you may well know, the answer section will not only discuss why A is the right answer, but also why B, C, and D are wrong.

So, I picked D, right? Wrong. After reading why C was the right answer, it then stated, "D is obviously wrong." Well. Is it too late for a bar refund?

Question:

What's the difference between Diet Coke with Splenda and Coca-Cola Zero? I haven't had Zero yet, but I'm drinking DC-splenda right now and it's not half-bad. It doesn't taste the same as regular DC and if you've been using splenda in your coffee, you'll be able to taste the splenda in the DC. In my morning mug I'm a big fan of splenda over sweet & low, which tastes like chemicals, but I think it's a draw with aspartame in the bubbly stuff. Either way, I'm sure it'll give me cancer in thirty years.

The high is going to be in the 90's all week and while I'm glad it's sunny, it's too bad that it's life-threatening to actually be outside and enjoy it for any length of time. I just went to the store for burrito fixin's for tonight's dinner and usually the streets are packed on a Sunday afternoon, but there were very few bodies out and about today. Except for Coldstone, which had a line out the door and 3 million people trying to squeeze underneath the overhang for shade. I saw a girl daring to walk around with her Coldstone bowl on the sunny side of the street, and her boyfriend was at her feet with napkins because the ice cream was now fully liquified and had dribbled completely over her hand and onto the rest of her body. Listen people, God means it when he cranks up the thermostat, you can't go around defying him by bringing cold products outside like that. Mmmm, now I want Coldstone's....

PMBR Heaven (er...hell?)

Sometimes I get the feeling that I can pass the bar as long as I just keep buying stuff to study for it (i.e. it's the "accumulation of stuff" and not the "using it" that matters). I try not to give in everytime, but I was pleased when my PMBR cd's came in the mail last week. I got Civ Pro, Evidence, Property, and Corporations. I think maybe I should have opted for Contracts instead of Evidence, but, oh well.

Now that I have my computer back, I spent the evening ripping them to iTunes so I could get them on my iPod (on my iBook, isn't that just too clever?). All was well until I pulled Disc 1 of Evidence from my burner, and the fucking thing cracked halfway across the cd. Luckily, I'd already ripped it, but that pretty much tanks the resale thing for that entire set.

So, now I have 81 suicide-inducing tracks to listen to while I'm on the treadmill, even though I've been warned to keep the exercising as "me time." I usually listen to podcasts anyway, so this won't be much different. Plus, it might keep my mind off the guy with chronic b.o. who keeps getting on the treadmill next to me and then running at 9.0mph so his rapidly moving body can waft the vomiting fragrance around the entire gym.

This is how many flashcards I've made so far.

Is it a lot? It's contracts, torts, and con law, even though I thought at first I wouldn't make any for con law. I know people have said they aren't really using them after the initial creation, but I actually find them great study tools. I can get through a bunch just on the metro ride, and I'll go through them before class starts, since I tend to get there early. I'm a little embarrassed about that question on top of the stack there, since obviously I know the answer now, not to mention the copious typos I kept making. But - free california bar admission to whoever gets the answer right first!