Saturday, November 19, 2005


I got flowers from Mom today!

Roses from Mom


Ha. I deleted that post I wrote last night. I did not heed my mother's advice last night, "Don't get too drunk sweetie." I cracked open a bottle of wine and drank most of it, then went out and met some friends after they called. I had a few vodka-tonics, did some dancing, but somehow I was with it enough that when C came over with another drink I was like, "ummmmm, no, it's probably time to go." I actually didn't have a hangover, but apparently acted like a hilarious fool at Ben's Chili Bowl. Woo!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Holy fuck.

I passed.

Wait, I think. Maybe I imagined it. Let me go look again....

Okay, everyone caaaaallmm down.

On a good day I get about 50 hits on this little ol' blog. Today, at only 8pm, I just hit 101.

I need another margarita.

2.5 hours and counting...

I haven't been able to get around to everyone's blog yet because I've been out and about (and trying to distract myself) all day. And I'm headed out again to get dinner with some friends, so I just wanted to wish you CalBar takers the best of luck. I may not be back before 9pm, so anyone checking up on me, don't freak out if I'm MIA for a little bit. From what I hear, it might be better to let the website cool down a bit after 9 anyway.

Good luck! Stay strong!

Everyone has benefitted from the bread slicer.

Have any of my blogger friends out there noticed a huge spike in hits the past couple of weeks. It's like right before the exam, when my hits quadrupled, but I guess people are just freaking out about results now. I get tons of google hits for "cal bar results," and strangely, a lot of hits for "twotimingthecosmos," which means someone (lots of people?) are looking for me. Hello!

I'm trying to chill. I tried to sleep in, to no great avail, now I'm eating chili con queso my mom sent me before I head off to see Walk the Line. Ohmygod I love Joaquin. Hoo...okay. Then i'm going to the gym to blow off some steam, then I'll come home and watch some netflix. Oh, and I have a bottle of Camarere wine I bought in Argentina three years ago that I'm finally going to pop. I don't know what I've been waiting for, and I figure I might as well enjoy a nice bottle of wine while my future is decided for me. I corked a half-bottle of wine I brought home from Greece for me and my roommate's boyfriend yesterday, but holy crap was it bad. Awful. I shudder thinking about it. I might have left it in the sun, but it was pretty rancid. Too bad, we fed it to the garbage disposal.

In other news, I went to the hill yesterday to try to hawk my wares. It didn't go too badly, I had the informational interview with the Senate placement office with the very nice lady there, who then put my resume/application in the in-house server, so it is now available for Senator's not wanting to advertising publicly for positions. I also went to the House office, but they don't do it the same way. You can pick up their listings for the week, which they don't put online or anywhere else (which makes it kind of difficult to get, unless you have time to trek to the House every week) and left my resume in a box which the lady there said no one every looks in, nor do they pass the resume's out to anyone. So, that's useful. I was about to leave when I realized I had one resume left, and I should really go to this one Reps office. My old boss at the statehouse spoke to her about helping me find a job and I haven't really heard anything back. I hate cold-calling, and I knew I wouldn't be able to go door to door just yet. But I had an in here. So I literally stood outside the Raymond Building for ten minutes (in the newly frigid November weather) trying to decide if I should suck it up and go. I went. Turns out it was a great idea. The Congresswoman wasn't there, not like I expected to get a one-on-one, but the front desk lady was genuinely nice and very helpful. I explaned who I was and what I was doing, and said I knew they were busy but could I leave a resume with her? She said of course, that she'd definitly let the Congresswoman know I stopped by. She asked me if I'd stopped by the placement office and I casually mentioned I had but it was too bad they didn't make their listings public, because I normally wouldn't be able to come down every week to pick it up. She looked at my resume and said, "this is your current address right? why don't I just mail it to you every week, is that alright with you?" Are you kidding me? Of course it's alright! And it's so nice, I didn't even expect that kind of help from a stranger. That's what we call Midwestern hospitality people. So for that reason alone I'm really glad I stopped by.

Alright, I've got to get going. Maybe my CalBlogger friends will be around at 9pm (or 6pm for those of you actually on the west coast) to celebrate/commisserate.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I just got spanked...

by the Department of Ed. I had been getting bills, but I really thought it was because my consolidation hadn't cycled through, and that when it did my extra deferrment I thought I'd asked for would kick in. Oops. Turns out I was ignoring valid bills, except that all of it is so confusing I'm not sure how I was supposed to know that. They send you 1000 letters for every small action they take, so you just start ignoring it all, because none of it makes sense anyway. They called me today and the guy was a little snotty with me at first, which I don't think he had a right to be, because I was being perfectly nice and it's his agency that can't make paperwork a JD can keep straight. Anyway, we spoke for awhile and I told him I was unemployed, so he put my loan into temporary forbearance until I can send in an application for unemployment deferrment (which, apparently, you can only qualify for if you're registered with or HotJobs or something...which seems like a strange way to confirm you're looking for employment...and my temp agency doesn't count). Luckily I do happen to be registered with Monster, so I have to go fill out that app for them. So yay, I'm officially skirting my financial requirments! This is totally why I went to law school. Somebody point me to the welfare line.

Monday, November 14, 2005

And it all begins...

I'm definitely one of those people that doesn't really really stress out about something until it's nearly go-time. I was pretty low-key all summer, comparatively, until two days before the bar. Then I had my official freak out the evening after I decided I had to stop studying. Last night I had my first dream that I'd failed. One of my Maryland friends failed by 4 points and everyone says that's worse than failing by a lot. I tend to disagree. If you failed by four points that means you had a shitty grader; if you fail by a ton that probably means you screwed up somehow. In my dream I was in a big cafeteria-like room and they handed out envelopes. Before we opened them they put the passing scores, separately for the MBE and the essay portions, on the board at the front. I opened my envelope. My vision did that blurry-shakey thing it does when you're looking at something but you don't want to believe what you're seeing. I looked up at the board. I looked back down at the paper. I looked back up at the board. I'd failed by over 400 points.

I'm not sure that's even possible. No wonder I slept until 11am this morning, I must have been trying to dream something else to make up for that. By the way, NY finally gave notice that their bar results will be out this Thursday at 9am, so CA really will be the last one out...

I'm going to explode.

T is in love with this brunch place on 17th and Rhode Island that has an all-you-can-eat buffet and all-you-can-drink bloody marys and mimosas for $20 on Sundays. So we took a walk down there in our fat pants (like Boy Scouts, we're always eat), which was great cause it was downright beautiful outside. That was some damn good food my friends. They even had a huge desert spread, not that I could really eat any of it after two plates, three mimosas and a bloody mary, but still, they were pretty. (Okay, I had some tiramisu.) The walk back did nothing to alleviate my waistline, but at least I won't have to eat for the rest of the week, so I consider the $20 to be an investment in my unemployed future. Yes.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

So, where to start?

Now that I'm unemployed again, I may start blogging with gusto once more. I have a bunch of stories to tell, some backstories from work that I feel comfortable posting now without fear of retribution, and some that continue to develop everyday.

I'll start with this: My sudden expulsion from the office finally got to me last night. I still don't give a shit about the job, cause Christ it sucked and I truly wouldn't wish being around those lawyer-whores on my worst enemy. I've mentioned how well I've bonded with my co-workers, but it took this to really have it hit home for me. One thing my co-workers (can I still call them that?) have in common is our law school experience. For all of us, we didn't make best friends with anyone during that time. Our group of friends were strictly drinking/studying buddies. I called them when I needed to make a coffee run, or maybe if I heard some good gossip. But when I'm upset, or when something great happens, they're far down on the list. For that I call my college and old pre-law work friends. So for all of us, we had a really hard time in law school, not having really close friends around, who cared about you and totally understood you. But these guys, my co-workers, in two short months, have become those friends. So, after a three year drought I finally find myself spending time with people who know everything about me (remember, we spend 8 straight hours/day talking, and if it's a happy hour day, tack a good 6-8 hours on top of that, intoxicated), who have figured out not just the things I like, but what makes me tick, and when I do something silly or plain idiotic, they totally laugh at me, but in that way that says you're being hilarious to them, not just being weird in a way they don't understand. It's actually a lot like my workplace in Ohio after college, the last time I made friends like this.

So, one day I find myself becoming happy and confident and totally sure of myself all the time for the first time in years (which is probably the thing that got me fired; in the post mortem my friends have tagged me as a bit of the ringleader, if there was such a thing, of the office, leaving me susceptible to inflicting the biggest moral-hit if I was taken out....and yes, we reason this out because our bosses never matured beyond middle school), and the next day, I find my train car latch has been disconnected and they're all traveling on without me. Now, I know this isn't the end, because we're still going to see each other (like we did this evening in fact), but that office was where it started, and where we catch up with each other everyday. We sat and flipped through papers and theorized to each other why we keep ending up with the same kind of man, or the extent of our family histories, or about the hot guy I just exchanged a glace with at starbucks during break. And it's not like the project ended, they still keep going to work everyday while I have to sit at home, and it just struck me last evening as being so utterly unfair. That some whore-bitch can end that because she feels like it.

My law school friend T is in town this weekend and we all went out last night. I went cause I definatly needed a drink, but I was bored. Aside from my roommate and his boyfriend, both of whom I think I've bonded with beyond the law school-era superficiality that permeated my other relationships during that time, I still feel the same with all the others. Like, we talk and laugh, but I also think that after awhile, it was pretty obvious that something was wrong with me, and none of them asked me what was wrong. Cause we had to talk about what was going to be played on the jukebox, you know? And it just really punctuated the difference. Last week, we had an office happy hour and one of the new girls came, barely with us a week. But that day she had broke up with her boyfriend and I spent part of the evening hugging her while she cried about it. That same evening, a gross slobbery boy was all over me and this other girl, and whenever he came near, even if he came up behind me where I didn't notice, one of my friends would suddenly, without my prompting (but with my gratitude) pull me over out of his grasp. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it's just those little things that make you realize how nice it is to be with people who get you, and not just want to hang out with you because if you come out, there will be one more person to create coversation.

Gah. I actually had some funny stories from tonight, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Luckily for you (or not!), I have the time to tell them all now. I think I just had to get that off my chest, cause I spent a good deal of time crying about it when I got home last night, and here's a shout-out to Mindy who picked up the phone at midnight after working all evening, cause I needed to hear a friend.

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