Monday, April 10, 2006


Remember how I hate my private lender? Let me clarify:


They exist only to make my life a living, screaming hell from which there is no escape. An ugly, dank blanket that will suffocate me for the next thirty years. And then, just when I think I've got them reigned in, they have to go and fuck with me all over again.

Over a month and a half ago, when I got the raise that meant I wouldn't have to sacrifice meals in order to pay for the half-assed education that got me this primo temp job, I enrolled in automatic payments. I figure, why risk being late when I know I'll have the money, right? Right.

So I enrolled online. It doesn't go through that first month; you still have to do it manually, so I did. This month I forgot about it. Why?


Now, even though those fucking douchebags from hell have finally figured out that I've moved, my mom is STILL getting their mail before me. So after working a 12 hour day in which attorneys spat vitrol at me and my boss for not dealing with their massive overhauls of a brief in a nano-second - a brief that was supposed to be due at 4:30, and was instead filed at 9pm on our way home from the office - after a day like this, I come home to a concerned email from my mom:

"I just got a letter from [Your Private Lender] saying a payment is past due."

Oh. My. God. Someone is going to die. I will inflict rage upon my Private Lender the likes of which the world has never seen. And I will do all this in my mind, because tomorrow when I call them I will realize with anger that I cannot reach through the phone line and strangle the person on the other end.

And then I'll pay the bill, bend over, and wait for next month.


At 10:45 PM, April 10, 2006, Blogger G. said...

Can you imagine if humans had the power to kill someone using just their minds? Customer service departments would totally kick ASS.

At 10:25 AM, April 11, 2006, Blogger Alexandra said...

First thought I had was "Oh that sucks." The second was "Oh shit. Did I pay my student loans this month?!"

At 6:08 PM, April 11, 2006, Blogger Mr. Bad Apologies said...

Agreed. AGREED! Here's another fun option: Just as you go through all of these growing pains with your lender, and after you've mentally killed them off, things finally start to work when... your lender sells your loan off to someone else. AGAIN. Gone is your automatic pay, your online profile, or any semblence of how ANYTHING works.

This week: My employers loan payment that allows me to eat is out floating with Lender #2, who just sold me out to Lender #3. Both are playing dumb, while saying that it should have been passed through on its own.

At 7:11 PM, April 11, 2006, Anonymous diapersauce said...

but, alas, the private lending system did allow you to get a graduate degree (whether or not you value it or made it / think it's worth your while). my advice: put all correspondence in writing. i've had success in getting errors on their part reversed b/c i put things in writing. also, do they have a policy about getting direct debit confirmations before you need to cease paying on your own? -- with my private lender that was the case.

At 9:34 PM, April 11, 2006, Anonymous kirk diogu said...

you are probably still ok. i'm sure one late payment won't kill you. it certainly shouldn't jack up your interest rate or cause you to lose any plan benefits like rate reductions, etc. but dealing with loan companies does give you that vise-squeezing-around-your-head-until-all-your-anxiety-can-be-felt-pulsating-through-your-embolism feeling. don't let the world of pressure get to you. have you tried going postal?


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