Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I'm Special

Looks like the recruitment team at the American Red Cross has been busy lately. I'm a bit overdue, so when I received a letter from the ARC yesterday I excepted a guilt trip to rival my mother's patented version. But no! Check it out:

Who me?

I'm a Special Donor! And not even in a Bleeding-Heart-Liberal-Everyone's-Special kind of way. I'm viral free! Which is always something to celebrate, if you ask me. If you can't read the letter in that photo, it says my blood tested negative for Cytomegalovirus, which sounds like a dinosaur (cytomegalosaurus! raaar!), but is a usually harmless virus that infects 50-85% of Americans. However, CMV, as we in the know like to call it, can dangerously affect people with low immune systems. That means that doctors can't give CMV-infected blood to premature babies, patients undergoing treatment for cancer or bone marrow transplants, or people with immune deficiencies.

The ARC even set up a special day for us CMV-free people to donate, except 1) it's on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, which seems a little silly, as most people (or maybe it's just me) plan to drink all weekend, and 2) there are no donation sites in DC! Wtf Red Cross? They didn't even tell me if any of these places are on the metro, so I have to google map every single one and compare it to a metro map. Right. Maybe I'll just take the letter with me next time I donate and they can mark my little blood packet or something. Oh well. I'll find out some way for others to benefit from my hearty white cells.

You know what else? I've never broken a bone. This leads me to an important question: Am I Bruce Willis in Unbreakable? I think this evidence from the ARC has finally settled the question. I need to go cape-shopping. (And knock on wood, like, post haste.)

CMV-free. The way to be.

9 Comments:

At 4:29 PM, May 09, 2006, Anonymous Bluegrasshole said...

My brother has Crohn's Disease, which wreaks havoc with his immune system about twice a year and Cytomegalovirus damn near killed him. Be glad you have neither. When you start performing heroic deeds, can I do your renderings for the newspaper?

 
At 4:33 PM, May 09, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Be glad you have neither.

Glib though I can be, I am certainly thankful for my health. Don't worry, I'll be making my next appt to donate soon.

When you start performing heroic deeds, can I do your renderings for the newspaper?

Yes! Just get my good side.

 
At 4:44 PM, May 09, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember back in the old days when drinking was actually the follow up to donating blood? Now you are actually NOT donating to go drinking.

It's like you're all grown up...

 
At 11:56 PM, May 09, 2006, Blogger Roonie said...

I have no idea if I have CMV or not. That scares me, regardless of how harmless it is.

I haven't given for about two years. Maybe three. Oh, yes, it's been three. And I have O+ blood. I should give. The problem is, I need emotional support because I'm afraid of needles. The only way I can really give is if someone holds my hand. I need a distractor.

 
At 1:04 PM, May 10, 2006, Blogger DefCon1 said...

Hey heather its frank.
I was searching google for chinese delivery and I found this blog of yours, I think you mentioned it to me at staffwise.

you're kind of funny.

Oh and happy couch!

 
At 11:06 AM, May 11, 2006, Anonymous sherrycal89 said...

hey, time for reflection. you've been out of law school now for one year -- congrats. was it everything you expected? where do you fall in those employed after 9 months stats?

 
At 11:17 AM, May 11, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

OCS, is that you??

P.S. "Was it everything you expected." Um, no. But I'm sure AU has no problem using my temp employment as raising their "employed 9 months after graduation" stats. Fuckers.

 
At 1:46 PM, May 11, 2006, Blogger Roonie said...

How do our schools find out about our employment situations? I sure as hell don't tell them. I think they read my blog, too.

 
At 8:16 PM, May 11, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

In school they blackmailed us, I think they told us they wouldn't release our name for graduation until we replied to the OCS survey email. I don't remember what they did for the 9 month mark...oh right, they kidnapped my mother and held her hostage until I answered. And then, there was no option for "temporarily employed" or "fake employment," like I call it. Just "work for private employer," "work for public employer," "unemployed." Fuckers. I think I said that already.

 

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