Thursday, July 20, 2006

They're Coming

Who? The Robots, of course. All you crazy people are worried about zombies and mice and Adrian Fenty. But I'm telling you, the signs are there, and the robots are far along in their preparation for the final takedown.

Look at the evidence, will you? First the DCist server or whatever went nuts, forcing all of us trying to post something to consider jumping off the roof instead (ahem, doing their job for them). Then the massive database I use at work started mysteriously disappearing files I knew I'd uploaded. After frantic searches for hard copies with no results, we'd find, a week later, that the file mysteriously reappeared (an indexing problem they say. Ha!). Then! Then this evening, Flickr, the flagship of everything that is good and right about the internets, found its tubes clogged (and I'm so happy to see Catherine got a screencap of that, because I laughed so hard realized I was witnessing one of the last signs of the apocalypse when I saw it), while those of us desperately trying to upload pictures of homemade bruschetta languished at our desks, impotent to post nary a one.

See what's happening? They're slowly turning off and on the switches to show us how dependent upon them we are, and give us a taste of what's to come. Remember my first battle? My roommate got to re-live that one today, since our phone inexplicably turned off about a week ago. And then inexplicably turned back on once the repairman was en route.

If the robots begin their uprising and you're caught with your back-up disk in mid-burn, don't come crying to me. I'll be sitting in the basement with my canned goods and analog receivers.


At 2:26 AM, July 20, 2006, Blogger Roonie said...

So what do you recommend? What's a good way to back up, um, EVERYTHING on a laptop? I need to do that before the cyborgs usurp my brain waves.

At 8:51 AM, July 20, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Dear Robot Sympathizer,

It sounds like you're already direly unprepared. If I were you, I'd start making maps of our underground bunkers and collecting these with the hope you can barter for immunity from the Robot battery fields. But they won't give it to you.

At 1:13 PM, July 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really worried about bears, to be honest. Haven't you seen the movie "Grizzly Man"? I don't think our government is taking this threat serious enough.

At 1:17 PM, July 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

girls who quote battlestar gallactica are so dateable.

At 2:03 PM, July 20, 2006, Anonymous Bluegrasshole said...

You guys may be laughing about this, but the Robots killed my brother before my very eyes. So go ahead, try to bargain with them with your precious ACDC converters, but I know from horrific experience that the only thing they'll respect is a well aimed taser or a powerful magnet.

At 5:28 PM, July 20, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

AHH! Since I've been getting comments in my gmail box with the word "robot," the following link appeared on the page:

Robot Sympathizers!! WTF!

At 11:59 AM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Roonie said...

I'd date Heather. If I were a dude. Or if she were a lesbian and I was too.


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