What TV Has Learned Me This Week
Study engineering. Why? Because:
1. One day we will assemble a slave race of robots who will eventually rebel and plan a coordinated nuclear attack upon our earth-like home world, forcing us to flee in our giant spaceships but will wear us down as they jump to our location every 33 minutes, during which our only saving grace will be our ingenious and courageous step to rid ourselves of technology and talk through static-y radio waves and lo-fi analog frequencies. And someone has to repair that shit.
2. One day I'll live in a tiny town in Kansas while the rest of the free world is decimated in a coordinated nuclear attack from Philadelphia to San Diego (natch?) and the prisoners will find this a FINE time to flee and take the blondes hostage while the others perform a spontaneous but necessary tracheotomy with a Juice Box straw and the rest of the quaint town is forced into fallout shelters and coal mines and someone named Heather will have to show the White Men In Charge that no, they don't know everything because HELLO that fan belt is broken and we're all going to suffocate.
3. One day I'll have a lovely Sunday with a few hours of work, a few hours of play, a pretty good turkey burger that was much too large for my appetite, and a few hours of TiVo that I can finally enjoy because my roommates took the rabid dog out of my life for a couple of days...and turn on the news at 11:30pm to find that a nuclear bomb just went off. Fuck.