Sunday, December 17, 2006

Are we really going to go through this again?

Remember when I moved into my last place and spent a few weeks battling the Verizon robots to get my DSL working? Well it's like effing deja vu over here. Three weeks now and those fuckers can't figure out how to flip a switch. After being on hold for over an hour each time I call, I spend another half an hour explaining my situation again because they can't seem to write any of this shit down. And I've reconfirmed that swearing at the machines gets you to a representative much faster.

The story being: I was told my phone line went on on Nov 22. The DSL was supposed to start 7 days later. During that time I was supposed to get "complimentary dial-up," except I was given absolutely no information about how to use this (and frankly, didn't want to go through the trouble for just a week when we could steal wifi out the window). A few days after the phone line was turned on, I got an email saying there would be a delay and the DSL wouldn't be turned on for two weeks, instead of one. Jesus. Then a few days later I get another email saying it's actually ready. Woo! Except, no, they were pulling a fast one on me. When I called they were like, "um, no, it says you're still pending." Well, alright. FINE.

The date finally passes when it's supposed to be on, but it's still not working. After many phone calls and swearing at robots, the nice man in Bangalore told me that it was something on their end, and they'd put a technician on it, who would call me back in 24 hours. Riiiiight. Four days later when no one called back, I call back and, the new nice man in Banglore, after he fights with me about how long ago I called (you're a day ahead buddy!) goes through with me AGAIN if I tried another jack, etc, whatever, and finally after being on hold for two days he says he's putting a technician on it, and if he doesn't call me in the next 72 hours, I should call again. You know what Verizon? I'M A BUSY PERSON. Or at least, these things I have like "work" and "drinking beer" are much more important than being on the phone with YOU. I don't have time to be calling your total waste of a tech support department every other fucking day.

Please PLEASE someone recommend a DSL company that I can use in DC. I looked at Comcast cable, but it's $20 more a month (we're hooked into a satellite tv contract), so I'd like to avoid that. I don't use the line for a telephone, so I don't care about those rates. I know there's more than Verizon in DC, but all these names mean nothing to me if their service totally blows.

Help! Don't make me fight the robots again.


At 4:43 PM, December 18, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi I read your blog in the Washington Post Express. I wanted to share my story with you and your readers.
The day Verizon started business, they went to the apartment I lived at, and they were supposedly setting up new customers. What they did exactly was turned off our phone service.
We had to go to the Metro payphones and call the operator to send a technician out to fix the phones. We used every phone there on hold to call verizon, and had them dispatch a whole rack of technicians. They told us it was our phone companies fault. Yeah right.
We saw the first technician which just drove on by.. So we went and made the phone calls to Verizon again.
We began to realize that they were tampering with our phone servies, and blaming it on our phone company (who was a Verizon competitor.) It was obvious they were trying to make us upset with our current carrier, and switch to Verizon. We didn't give in..
So finally the phones came back and, and got shut off again, and came back on. All with about 10 phone calls to Verizon.
Years later, in fact it was this year.. I finally was asked by my girlfriend to try and switch to Verizon DSL, because Comcast was so expensive.
So, I tried to set it up online, and they were supposed to send me a kit to get started. The kit never came, so I called. They said that the order was cancelled because you can't sign up on the internet. They have a place to sign up on their website but they can't actually sign you up.
So they tried to place the order again not on the internet, but over the phone. That didn't work either. So I called again, and they asked if I wanted to place the order again. I said, "Look, either your management is out playing golf or taking a nap, but you're losing customers over here." It's not your fault, but your company sucks and it's going down. So, if you want to keep your job, I would go let your management know what is going on here."
So, I finally realized, that Verizon has no problem signing you up, taking your money and time our of your life and providing absolutely nothing but incompetance and stupidity in return.

At 4:17 PM, December 19, 2006, Anonymous tom said...

I'm afraid you're screwed. The other DSL vendors lease their service from Verizon, who is legally obligated to let them. In practice using one of them just means that you'll pay $5 more and have someone pleasant on the customer service number to commiserate with when Verizon has screwed up. But there's no escaping V's clutches -- just ask Emily. She went through this, tried to defect to SpeakEasy, and is still waiting on Verizon.


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