Anorexia is the New Detox

Or so my roommates tell me. I'm hanging out having a lazy Saturday on the couch and Joe comes into the living room.

Joe: So hey, Christopher and I are thinking of doing a little detox, if you're interested.
Me (perking up, thinking of the numerous extra cheese pizza slices I ate at 1am last night after drunkenly stumbling home with C from an engagement party, for which we started drinking at 5:30pm): Oh?
Joe: Yeah, you make this concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and some cayenne pepper to taste...
Me: Ew...and you drink this every morning?
Joe: Oh, no, it's the only thing you eat for ten days.
Me: ...
Joe: We saw this video on Current that followed these guys for ten days on the detox program. Every one of them lost 10-15 pounds in ten days.
Me: ...You're both fucking insane, you know that right?

I already knew they were both crazy, but this is a path through Crazy Town they've yet to take me on. Neither of these boys have three pounds to lose, much less 10, much less TEN IN TEN DAYS. Christopher and I had talked on Friday about starting to run together, so when he joined the conversation I said, "Hey, I wanted to get you up early so we could start running on Monday." C, excitedly: "Yeah, that'll be great!" Me: "What?? You're NOT going running, not to mention your two-mile-each-way walk to work on 10 calories a day!" C: "Why not! It'll be great!"

God, I live in queer-image-hell sometimes. I think I will take their cue and ease my caloric intake for at least the next week. I've been eating a lot of ice cream (it's so hot!), bbq food, and beer lately, and have definitely gained a few pounds, which always feels that much grosser during a heat wave. So, I can do that. Eat some vegetables and throw that leftover pizza out.

I will say though, they're going to give me great blogging fodder for the next week and a half. They'll be the "Joe passed out in front of his class" post, the "We can play the xylophone on Christopher's ribs!" post, and what's sure to be a fan-favorite, the "Do I need to call 911?" post.

Follow Up

To my kids post: Ha ha.

Also, via Free Ride, a quote from the Police chief in today's Post article on the curfew:

You shouldn't need a curfew if you've got parents who are responsible. But unfortunately we've got some parents here that are totally irresponsible. Their idea of raising a kid is throwing a kid out of the house and letting them straggle back in at 2 o' clock in the morning.

Word.

The Seventh Circle of What?

It's Monday night and already I have a To Do list that's so long I'm left paralyzed everytime I look at it. My weekend of debauchery didn't help, and neither does my incessant blogging habit, come to think of it. I'm starting to see stuff on there that's so old, it's become a different project just by the sheer amount of time that's passed. Like, I ran into this guy at my college reunion (in MAY!) who I wasn't super close to, but at the reunion I remembered how much I enjoyed him, and we decided to keep in touch. Being the good person that he is, he emailed me sometime the next week...and I have yet to reply. It's sitting there in my gmail box, with a little star on it so I won't forget about it. But since it's been three months I feel like I'm going to have to concoct this really great excuse for not having written back yet. So, I put it off. I'm also sitting here looking at a pile of freshly cleaned laundry that needs to be put away, but, ho ho, that's way down on the list.

Ah well, at least I'm eating well deliciously. After getting Ben's chili cheese fries at 4am on Friday, I had a dream that I was trapped in a reality-tv style house for Jenny Craig people. Kirstie Alley was there forcing me to make a list of calories I was eating and told me my jeans were too low cut. What? Yeah, so I woke up at 2 in the afternoon and ordered a pizza. Put that in your diet and smoke it!

We also had an excellent bbq dinner last night. Our backyard got kind of crammed with people, but that's the way we like it. We cooked up beef dogs and Boca dogs, and even invited some real dogs. Also on the menu: damn fine homemade potato salad from Chai and to-die-for grilled quesadillas provided by Adrian. Which made me think: Fajita Night! Hot damn, I just planned our next bbq.

Unfortunately, it was hot as balls outside and even by midnight hadn't cooled off. The hilarious quote of the evening was from Joe, about this strange girl who insisted she was from France, having studied there for eight months, and used her "foreignness" as an excuse for having no concept of the social etiquette known as 'shutting the hell up when your fellow partiers' eyes start to glaze over.' I ran into him in the kitchen, trying to cool off by the A/C for a minute and we discussed the strange girl: "Being trapped out there by her, with that heat...it's like something Dante must have written about."

On an unrelated note, good news! My health insurance officially starts in 1.75 hours! Bring on the buses!

Two-Timing Updates

Thought I'd mention a few blogroll updates, since it's been awhile. First off, I added Matt Sargent Music, and if you click over to the Strand on Volta page, you'll see a few more of my photographs from the Landscape Circles performance. They're not super fab, because I was trying not to be the asshole flashing my camera in their faces, but they'll do. Also added the Zunta bloggers and DCist editors past and present. And NASA News, natch. Gotta coordinate my next trip down to Florida, right?