Panic! At the Coffee Machine
For those of you who enjoy poorly formatted, largely pointless blog posts (actually, isn't that the definition of a blog post?), I bring you this IM conversation. Note that I'd never met or even seen this guy before.
me: i just had a lawyer freak out over my use of the coffee machine
it was pretty awesome
me: we have one of those one shot machines, you know, with individual little packets you put in
David: were you using it improperly, to do laundry or something
me: and basically, you just open the top, the old one flips back into a bin, and you put your new one in
so i did this, and as i'm putting down the lid and hitting "go" he goes "waitwaitwaitwait did you clean it out first???"
me: "did you clean it out first?"
me: "what do you mean, the old one just pops out"
"nononono, you have to run it a few times, wash it out real good"
me: "you mean, because i might get different flavored coffee grounds mixed in with mine?"
"YES! i usually run it 3-4 times empty before i brew my cup"
" ... "
usually, when my superiors tell me stupid shit like that
i'm happy to smile and say "oh thanks, i'll do it that way next time"
but i just looked down at this tiny little panicking man and said "wow, that sounds like a TERRIBLE waste of water"
me: and he shrank down and started to walk away, and said
"well...it's just hot water.." and ran out of the room
it's just HOT water, we don't need that shit lying around, costing us money
David: fo reals
me: i'd really like to know how I DON'T HAVE A JOB
crazy people have jobs, and i don't
David: it's not like it's water made of gold after all
you're crazy in all the wrong ways apparently
me: yeah, like using coffee machines without hosing them down first
me: i'm really glad he didn't get there first so i had to watch him run the machine five times before i could get my coffee
i probably would have strangled him
David: why strangle when you can scald
that hot water should be used for SOMETHING after all
me: true, hold his hand under there: "what's the matter, it's only HOT water??"
erase those question marks
with your mind