Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sigh...

One of the reasons I haven't blogged much in the past month is because a lot of this house stuff is incredibly complicated and it's often a roller coaster of emotions within the span of a day on the same issue. I'm applying for an unusual loan and it's a new thing for my primary loan officer (who's since really just become my primary contact, while other people are taking care of the loan). We've often both been very confused and misunderstood key points, becoming desparate when it seemed we had to bend over backward, only to find out everything was actually fine.

On Friday I got a big FedEx packet from my lender, which is strange because they didn't tell me they were sending anything, and I also got it a few days late because they sent it to the wrong address. At first I was like, okay, here's where the heinious paperwork comes in; it's all these voluminous disclosure papers and what not, most of it pretty standard.

Then I read the cover letter a little more closely and read that I needed to provide some more documentation (you have no idea how much of my financial life I've documented in the last few months), and most of them are easy enough -- apparently they want to know why I deposit $1000 at the top of every month from a personal check (it's my roommate's rent), etc.

Then I read this, "Provide evidence that your Salle Mae student loan payments total $150 per month (total)." Seriously, that's what it said. I hope you all cringed as violently as I did when you read that. $150? I wish!! Inside the packet is a list of all my debts, presumably from my credit report, along with the payments per month and how many months it would take to pay them all off. And it says I owe Sallie $20K with payments of $151 a month. You people all know I went to law school right? And I didn't just go for a semester? Fuck, if my loan payments were $150 a month I'd build my own effing house from the ground up.

So I emailed my lender just now asking if, when they discover the real number (3x that), I'm going to be totally, inexorably, screwed.

A little awesomer -- because this has consumed my life and I talk and blog about it, everyone I know kind of associates me with house buying; it's the first thing everyone asks when I run into them (case in point: yesterday at the galleries I was asked at least 4 times, so my poor companion knows the story verbatim by now). So how totally awesome would it be if I went through this for 4 grueling months only to get the rug pulled out from me in the 11th hour. I'm gonna have to think about drafting some mass email to everyone along the embarassing lines of, "So, yeah, I got stood up at the alter."

I'm trying not to freak out just yet, because this isn't the only "omg I'm screwed" moment I've experienced thus far, but...this one seems like a particularly big one.

Post Script: I just tried logging into Sallie Mae to check the real total I owe, and I tried everything, the correct ID and password, then SS number, then my account number, and kept getting the same error, "Account does not exist." So...maybe I don't actually owe them anything?? Woot! Fucking Sallie Mae.

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