Saturday, March 03, 2007

Traveling Things

The day I left Bangalore and Chai's family, I went to Mysore with Maisnon. It was the first day when I really went out and saw things, and there was a craft shop next to my hotel where I ended up buying some marble elephants as gifts for people back home. I had the merchant send them to my house, rather than carry them around, but I made what I later realized might have been a huge, stupid, first-timer mistake: I paid in cash. What exactly prevented him from just screwing me? I really hit my head over it, but there was nothing I could do afterwards. So I got back to the states and the damn thing never showed up. I got both the package I mailed home and the carpet that another merchant sold me, both of which were shipped 2-3 weeks after the Mysore crafts. Arg, I got screwed.

But no! It came this week! TWO full months after it was shipped (he obviously shipped it by sea, instead of air). I'm so happy he did not take the opportunity to take advantage of me. Check 'em out:

Mysore Elephants

The big one didn't make it, sadly. They all have another elephant carved inside the body, and the big one actually had an elephant within the elephant within the elephant, and I guess it was just too much. Luckily, I bought four for gifts and one for me, so I'll just keep that one.

Aren't they cute?
Marble Elephant

In other traveling things news, remember my backpack? (Someone clearly linked to that photo besides me, otherwise I have no explanation for 139 views on that thing. Anyone know where?) Well, I just bought it another ticket abroad. It's going to carry Spencer's body armor when he ships off to Iraq tonight. That thing's going to have some more interesting adventures than it had in India, I'm sure. Crazy. Stay safe, Spencer!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Ha.

You know, I was telling David how I felt guilty for having the tickets and he was like, "they're the assholes, if it's really for charity why are they only playing one show?"

Exactly. But hey, now I might just go! Better go find an album or something.

***

Oh, don't worry, TDP fans, I've been asked a few times tonight, and I'm still doing the thing for the contest. I want you to wait for your "chance" during the second show-down , because hey, why do homework when you don't have to, right?

Still. I've got the tickets, and am willing and am more than hilariously able to read your submissions. Turn them in now, or wait for the new ticket sales, it's up to you, but I will surely read them, and likely print them. God, I love this country.

The Dismemberment Plan: An Essay Contest

I watch my friends whip themselves into awesome frenzies every couple of weeks or so over some concert and who got tickets before they sold out in four minutes. I am not anywhere near a rabid music fan. I usually read my friends' blogs and see what new bands are happenin', then I get the album and see if I like it. You know, I let them do the research for me.

The latest culprit of the Frenzy: The Dismemberment Plan. I'll be totally honest. I've never heard of them. But I was bored at work, as usual. So I opened ticketmaster at 4:59pm.

AND BOUGHT TWO TICKETS.

You heard me. I have two tickets to see The Dismemberment Plan on April 28, a concert that reportedly sold out at 5:01pm. The most undeserving fan in the whole universe. And apparently none of my friends did. If this were any other concert, I won't lie, I would have absolutely no compunction scalping them and paying off my credit cards. But it's a god damn fucking benefit, which means, obvs, I'll go to hell. Plus, I'm pretty sure my friends would murder me in cold blood on the streets.

So I IM'd David about my ethical conundrum. Do I go see the concert? Do I give them to my friends at cost? Just one, or both? And to whom?? He said: Hold an essay contest. Haha, I said, my friends are still going to totally fucking murder me. But that's hilarious, I'll do it.

Please email me a short fictional story featuring The Dismemberment Plan. The story must also include a fudgecicle and a rhyming couplet about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. And c'mon, if you can't have a sense of humor about how totally hilarious this whole situation is, you don't deserve the tickets.

David will be guest judging. Good luck! I'm going to go run from the mob now.

Love your lucky in all the wrong ways friend,
Heather

P.S. The tickets are will call, so keep your knives to yourselves, or no one gets a ticket.

medical mysteries!

There is a strange phenomena going on with my leg. As far as I can tell, this began on the plane ride back from India. Over the course of the 8000 hour journey, I was shifting around and felt something strange on the top of my left thigh: a baseball size dent. Seriously. I tried to remember getting hit with something, or just anything that would have caused such a thing, but no. And with all the time I spent sitting in cars with my hands in my lap, I can't imagine I wouldn't have noticed it before.

It didn't hurt, it wasn't bruised. It was just a dent about three inches in diameter and maybe 1/3 to 1/2 inch deep. Over the past month and a half, it hasn't grown, shrunk, gotten deeper or shallower, or started to hurt. It's just there like a divot on the golf course.

It finally occurred to me that I usually get my bc shot in my thigh, right where it's located. What else could it possibly be, right? I had to go get my seasonal shot yesterday so I asked the doc. At first she said, "Oh a dimple? Yeah, some women are reporting that." And I was sort of happy that at least it wasn't some under-flesh eating bacteria that was simply hibernating. She asked to see it and I got the famous doctor face-drop and "oh." Apparently, the "dimples" women are getting are tiny little things, not the ginormous meteor crater impact I seem to have going on.

So she looked at my chart and we realized (or, I remembered) two things: 1) my last shot in December was in my stomach and 2) the shot in September was in my *right* thigh. There's no record where my June shot was, but even if it was in my left thigh, why would something SUDDENLY appear six months later?

We were both at a loss. She told me she would consult with her colleagues and get back to me, but that I might want to see an internal specialist about it, possibly one that covers "tropical diseases." Omgwtf? This has turned from a curious situation into "see a specialist"? Geez. Have you people seen my health care plan?

I talked to my mother about it, who agrees I should wait to hear back from this doctor before I start seeking out a battery of tests for my new concave features. But, if anyone has heard of this kind of thing before, advice is welcome.

I'll miss Peter though.

My friend and fellow Heroes lover, Nina, just forwarded me this in an email with the subject line: HOLY CRAP THEY ARE GENIUSES

HEROES
From the creator: "Volume One comes to a conclusion at the end of episode 23, and Volume Two starts with the opening of season two. And Volume Two is a different story. We could have new people and new storylines and new ideas and new threats and new bad guys and new heroes. So I would prepare the audience for that idea, that it's not just a continuing serialized storyline about only these people. It's a little more the '24' model than the 'Lost' model."

----

My response was that I'm not sure what to think of that quite yet, but if it's done by these guys, I'm pretty sure I'll love it. Despite a few not TOTALLY AMAZING episodes, it's been, well, amazing so far, and I think they'll only do the overarching theme justice by not getting too bogged down in the lives of the 10+ people starring in the show so far. If there's anything the writers have proven, it's that they can handle fresh faces and new story lines with absolute ease.

Oh man, is it Monday yet??

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Redeem This

Have you guys checked out that new-ish clothing store on 14th that opened up last fall? I was all happy to have another place to window shop on my way home from work, but I'm dismayed to discover that the windows are the only decent thing about that place. It's like this hyper-hipster-I-wish-there-was-a-DC-Misshapes -because-I-would-totally-rule-that-and-oh-this-would-look-great-with-leggings store. Or something. Almost nothing is remotely wearable, and the things that are cost a zillion dollars. I picked up this tank top that was literally a scrap of fabric with a stenciled design, for the low low price of $98. Sixty dollar t-shirts. But they have birds on them! So, it's worth it. And with twelve items that never change, I'm sure you'll never, ever run into the only other girl in town willing to blow half a months pay on a shirt for dance night at the Black Cat.

Boo. Clearly I'm just going to have to go to Old Navy and pick up some sweatpants and plastic flip-flops and call it a day.

Update: They don't have a web site, they have a MySpace page!! Ha. Of course they do.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Panic! At the Coffee Machine

For those of you who enjoy poorly formatted, largely pointless blog posts (actually, isn't that the definition of a blog post?), I bring you this IM conversation. Note that I'd never met or even seen this guy before.

me: i just had a lawyer freak out over my use of the coffee machine
it was pretty awesome
David: nice
me: we have one of those one shot machines, you know, with individual little packets you put in
David: were you using it improperly, to do laundry or something
Flavia?
me: and basically, you just open the top, the old one flips back into a bin, and you put your new one in
so i did this, and as i'm putting down the lid and hitting "go" he goes "waitwaitwaitwait did you clean it out first???"
"uh, what?"
David: hahaha
me: "did you clean it out first?"
me: "what do you mean, the old one just pops out"
"nononono, you have to run it a few times, wash it out real good"
David: wow
me: "you mean, because i might get different flavored coffee grounds mixed in with mine?"
"YES! i usually run it 3-4 times empty before i brew my cup"
" ... "
usually, when my superiors tell me stupid shit like that
i'm happy to smile and say "oh thanks, i'll do it that way next time"
but i just looked down at this tiny little panicking man and said "wow, that sounds like a TERRIBLE waste of water"
David: hahaha
excellent
me: and he shrank down and started to walk away, and said
"well...it's just hot water.." and ran out of the room
HAHA
it's just HOT water, we don't need that shit lying around, costing us money
David: fo reals
me: i'd really like to know how I DON'T HAVE A JOB
crazy people have jobs, and i don't
David: it's not like it's water made of gold after all
you're crazy in all the wrong ways apparently
me: yeah, like using coffee machines without hosing them down first
David: nice
me: i'm really glad he didn't get there first so i had to watch him run the machine five times before i could get my coffee
i probably would have strangled him
David: why strangle when you can scald
that hot water should be used for SOMETHING after all
me: true, hold his hand under there: "what's the matter, it's only HOT water??"
erase those question marks
with your mind

Monday, February 26, 2007

The bachelor life

1) I forgot about this little gem of a conversation that happened at brunch yesterday. Jason arrived and I poured him a cup of coffee:

Me: Cream, sugar?
J: Just cream please.
Me: Um....I don't know why I just offered that. I don't have any cream. Oh, but I might have some milk, is that okay?
J: Yeah, that's cool.
Me: (opens fridge) Oh...it expired two weeks ago.
(Jason and David start laughing at me)
Me: What's so funny?
J: You know girl, we were worried about you, planning brunches, gettin' all domestic. But you're still one of us.

2) Heroes, I still love ya, but must you so seriously test my suspension of belief? (spoiler alert!) Claire and Nuclear Man recreate the final scene of X-Men III, and so Claire comes out of the house pulling her little Wolverine "watch me grow my skin over my tendons over my muscles over my bones." But c'mon. Her full head of curled blonde hair? And her skin grows back dirty. Dirty?! Whatever, sigh. Also, what's with commercials every three minutes? Are we taking cues from soap operas now?

3) Hello employers! Couple of hits from my firm after I left today. Direct hits, too, no referral. That's always a good sign. Browse around! Take a gander. I don't talk shop, don't worry.

4) The Black Donnelleys? I can't say I'm sad to see Studio 60 on "hiatus," but do I really need another everyone-dies-depressing-drama? Where are my sunshine and ponies? Wasn't my suffering through Babel enough? I've given you over four hours of my life, Haggis, now you want a full season? My first born? I'LL GIVE YOU THE HEAD OF MARTIN SCORSESE, JUST MAKE IT STOP. And bring me a sparkly pony.

5) Please, please, please come over and eat this cheesecake. My belts only have so many notches, people.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

A Delicious Weekend

Well I suppose if I wanted to start a new year, this was a pretty great start. My very good friend Kristy was down from Boston this weekend for a conference, and she ducked out early on Friday so we could grab dinner and catch up. We spent hours over Ethiopian food (btw, Etete = mmmm) and a couple bottles of wine staring at her brand new engagement ring (he proposed in Paris five days ago), amusingly practicing eating one-handed for her possible upcoming trip to India (ironic fact: she's the one who inspired me to take a month off and travel, and now my photos have inspired her to go to India for her wedding), and having some really tough but necessary conversations about her experience with her step-mother, who recently passed away, and the very similar situation with my grandfather (result: bought a ticket home for St. Patrick's day weekend - he's the Irish Catholic in the family).

Near 4 a.m. we flagged her a cab back to her hotel in Dupont, but she came over the next day to walk down 14th Street with me and check out the galleries. It was really, really good to catch up with her. It's funny, because Kristy's reputation has always sort of jokingly been that she's a bit, well, flighty, but she's quite actually the most stable, insightful person I know, and talking to her about all these things going on in my life has probably given me more clarity than anything else in recent months.

As a double bonus, I caught Rebecca online Saturday night, another good college friend (in fact, the three of us lived together for awhile) who I haven't talked to in forever. I detoxed for the night and stayed in talked to her for hours. She's quitting her big firm job soon and wants to take a trip, so now we're tentatively planning an August vacation together, which would be fantastic. I've got to start dealing with my finances, stat, though. Where should we go? Well, that's the fun part.

Then came MORE EATING. Sunday morning I looked out my window and freaked out:
Perfect Day for Brunch
Omg. Then I remembered: *I* didn't have to leave my house! I could put on a tank top and flip-flops, start up the fireplace, and await six of my lovely friends who were soon to arrive carrying delicious foodstuffs. Sylvie's been on this baking kick recently and everyday we're all bombarded by IM's about her biscuits and pancake-cakes, so we told her she had to put her money with her mouth was, and planned a Sunday brunch. Let's put it this way, it lasted seven hours, and even now, ten hours later, I literally can't move off the couch. I may have to unbutton my pants. We didn't even make it to the cheesecake Donna brought over, which is now taunting me from the fridge, and will surely come to an ugly death at the wrong end of my fork during Heroes tomorrow night. I think we're going to have to make this brunch thing a fairly regular occurrence. Actually we had to laugh at ourselves, all sitting around the table stuffing our faces, and we're talking about how we can't wait for May and summer and all the parties and bar-b-ques they'll bring...as if we weren't having a totally great afternoon together at that very moment, heh.

After the snow stopped we heard this awful scraping, and realized my upstairs neighbor had come out to shovel the walk. I leaned outside and yelled, "Hey! You're awesome! Do you need help??" He looked at my tank top and short pants and said, "Ha, I got it, don't worry." So I told him we were having brunch and he should come over for some hot coffee in front of the fireplace when he was done, but instead, he came over with three bottles of wine to share with us. So, I got my walk shoveled and free booze. Sounds like a good deal to me.

Okay, I'm going to finish watching the Oscars, think about the wonderful friends I have, try to figure out how to juggle the two dates I have this week (!!), and...possibly give into the taunting cheesecake for awhile.

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