Saturday, May 12, 2007

Tonight, we booze.

Tonight is "Break Shit for Heather's Birthday Part Two: Solly's." (And in fact have already gotten clearance from Solly himself to bust open chairs over anyone yelling "surprise" to someone who's not me in the vicinity of my party...there's a reason why we love this bar.) I'm looking forward to a warm-up at Ben's with some folks, then on to some late night boozing. Oh, but, surprise! Sylvie came over this morning with an enormous box that was my birthday present from the Staffwise gang. Look at what these fuckers got me:

Happy Birthday to Me

My liver is shuddering, but my mouth is watering. Um, after party at my house?

Liberal elitists, indeed

I'll stop harping on the ridiculous clothing industry soon, I promise, but I just stopped by Circle Boutique, which just reopened on 14th, next to Redeem - you remember Redeem? Wannabe Williamsburg? Appropriate placing, I suppose, but I just don't understand who all these people are begging for clothes that make them look chubby, their boobs sag because you can't wear a bra, all for the low, low price of $180 a pop. Grr.

So then I walked past that new yuppie furniture shop that opened up where the old yuppie furniture shop used to be, and saw Tipper Gore's jungle photographs on the walls, Al Gore's book on the coffee table, and the air conditioning blasting out through the double open doors into the street. Ugh. Just what gentrifying 14th Street ordered: rich environmental hypocrites.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Moments in (non)Celebrity

I went to Nana yesterday, in my search for a new outfit for this weekend that refuses to reveal itself, and ended up just buying a simple top for nothing in particular. I gave my card to the lady at the cash register, who looked at it and said, "Are you the same Heather who writes for DCist?" I kind of laughed and said yes, and she said, "Oh, I see your name on there like eighteen, twenty times a day!"

The exaggeration was sweet, and the recognition at all kind of heartwarming, but here's the thing: We had this conversation verbatim when I was in there two weeks ago. Clearly I am not in any way memorable in person, ha.

Another, unrelated thing I said to her when I handed her the top, "Maybe when the fashion industry remembers that some of us still have hips, I'll be able to start buying clothes again." Seriously, people, I am sick to death of all this pregnancy wear. You know why? Because IT MAKES YOU LOOK PREGNANT. Even PREGNANT women don't want to look pregnant, for christ's sake. Unless you're the skinniest girl this side of a roadsign pole, you are going to look shapeless and fat. You know what this is? Skinny, hipless hipster girls trying to keep us out of the club. Fine! I'll shop at the Gap! I'll dive into the sea of khaki just because they make pants that don't make me look ten sizes bigger than I actually am. And if I have to drink a Starbucks latte and check my email on my Blackberry while doing it, maybe I will. But I will be wearing a great fucking pair of pants and, thus, be able to continue to sweet talk my way into the Black Cat because even though I may not have chicken legs to wrap in striped leggings and a universe of indie fashion designers making shapeless empire waisted dresses for me, you know what I do have? A great ass. Suck it, pole girls.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Another chance for a good deed

I have probably mentioned my good friend Scott on the blog before; he's just about the only friend I still talk to from high school, and he ran my photography web site until he decided to run for Congress (down with Pombo!).

He does enough good deeds in a week than most of us do over the span of years, and I wanted to take the chance with my tiny, baby-sized microphone here to advertise his current project. Scott and his wife, Jessica, have spent a good deal of time in Africa, building things and discussing jobs with Minister of Technology in at least one country, and right now they're trying to raise money for a new water tank for a Kenyan village that provides clean, sanitary water for an orphanage.

Hawk-like-watchers of TTtC will have noticed the little donation bar I've added to the right-hand column. Scott works with these people a lot - who he met through his run for Congress, but the six degrees he explained to me was a little complicated to repeat here (but this is Caren, the local school principal they're friends with, and this is Tobias, who he quotes on the Pledgie page) - and the entire damn tank costs all of $500. I've already donated my $50 and they've raised just over $300. So, if you'd like to contribute a couple of bucks for this small enterprise that will actually, physically a group of people, click here or on the donation bar.

There's also a "follow-up" function on Pledgie that allows the fundraiser to show how the money was used, and Scott hopes to show us pictures once the tank is installed and working.

(Totally unrelated: I'm on IM with Scott right now bugging him with questions about this, and he mentioned my Spiderman post below and that it reminded him when we all saw Titanic and stood around in the parking lot afterwards totally appalled that we'd just sat through that entire thing. I have to admit, that post-game conversation actually does beat S3, but not by much, after all my friends and I still have email threads going on about it three days later.)

Sunday, May 06, 2007

oh spidey

That was the worst romantic comedy I've ever seen. The sheer number of grown men crying put Telemundo to shame. To shame. As kind of a joke I sent out an evite for this, because I was having a bbq afterwards, and also cause evite is a little ridiculous and has become somewhat of an inside joke because Paul helped invent it or some such, and David responded that he'd come and that he'd heard "this episode was totally Emo." Now, remember this if you haven't seen it yet, because when Peter gets all angsty for the first time, looks in the mirror, then, unsatisfied, brushes his bangs down in his eyes like a Fall Out Boy reject, which lasts for the next hour of the movie, you will laugh your ass off like you've never laughed before. Except for 100 other moments in the movie that are so awful, so embarrassing, so "why didn't somebody edit this out!" At one point David yelled, "This is the most embarrassing five minutes I've ever seen." Except wait five minutes, cause it gets worse. So much worse. The American Flag! Omg. Where's al qaeda?? I need to beat some anti-american ass! Or at least, laugh until I can't move. But, it's all fun and games until you sorry excuse for superheroes get emotional and whatever for a thousand hours. The first twenty minutes of the movie are an exact indicator of how the rest will go. By then you're pretty much asleep and/or rolling your eyes profusely. When Peter starts sobbing on the bridge at the end, you wonder when "SpiderBitch" got commissioned instead of Spiderman 3. I wonder how Meg Ryan got left out of this golden opportunity. But seriously, go see it, have a LOT of caffeine, and a couple of jack & cokes beforehand, and you'll be ready for "Spiderman 3: Death of a Franchise." You know, until Spiderman 4: MJ Gets That Not So Fresh Feeling. I fear for the world when the Harry Potter preview actually captivated us more than the entire supposedly-quality-superhero movie did.

Ah anyway, we followed that amazingly bad excuse for a movie with the first bbq of the year, with one of the best burgers I've had in a long time and about a gallon of yuengling. If the weather would just get a tad warmer, and I would get some speakers for the backyard, it would have been just about perfect. Okay okay I got it: Spiderman 3: Like a Live Circumcision - Nauseating to Watch, but You Stayed for the Hilarious Conversation After.

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